Archive for the ‘Bob Wire has a Point’ Category
Bob Wire and the Suck Ton 3000
By BOB WIRE - I fell for one of the oldest tricks in the sales book: A free vacuum cleaner demo, courtesy of the Suck Ton 3000. Oh, the things I'll do for a clean rug.... more
Growing Up Is Hard To Do (When You’re Already Over 40)
By BOB WIRE - The most surprising thing I've found about raising teenagers is that they’re not the biggest problem. I am.... more
High Fructose Corn Syrup Isn’t the Base of the Food Pyramid?
By BOB WIRE - I am the Candy Sheriff at the Wire compound. I try to be stingy with sweets, but I know the kids still get it on the outside. How do I know? Simple: Laundry.... more
The Guitar That Saved My Soul
By BOB WIRE - In late 1988, I found myself with no guitar. There was a hole in my soul. Enter, the Big Red Troublemaker.... more
Ice Fishing: The Aromatic Sport of Kings
By BOB WIRE - In the winter, I’m usually an indoorsy guy. But every winter, three buddies and I undertake the elaborate intelligence test we like to call ice fishing.... more
Who Will Save Rock ‘n Roll?
By BOB WIRE - This year’s Grammy Awards was a bi-polar, hit-or-miss showcase of Gaga proportions. Real and fake, young and old, it was all on display.... more
Who You Callin’ Pinhead?
By BOB WIRE - Insults and degradation aren't the right tack to improving your brand profile, dummies.... more
The Facebook IPO: What’s Not to Dislike?
By BOB WIRE - If there’s anything Americans love to hate, it’s a snotty young billionaire.... more
Bob Wire’s State of the Union
By BOB WIRE - As is my tradition, I have put together a translation of the President's State of the Union Speech. What follows is its true meaning, stripped of all euphemism, double-talk, and Capitol-speak.... more
No One Pushes Me Around Like My Chiropractor
By BOB WIRE - I first noticed the pain in the summer of 2009, and two years later, it's still there. So, cautiously pessimistic, I went in to see Dr. Jim the Chiropractor for my initial consultation.... more
Singin’ The Post-Christmas, Hungover New Year’s Blues
By BOB WIRE - I’m petitioning Congress - by that I mean complaining to my mail lady - to officially repeal January first as New Year’s Day.... more
Dogsitting: It’s Not All Beer and Kibbles
By BOB WIRE - Ahh, on cold mornings like this, nothing feels better on the bare feet than a wood floor in a gas-heated home. Until you step in the dog vomit.... more
The Making of Off White Christmas, Part Deux
By BOB WIRE - Gather 'round the Christmas tree, kids! It's the second part in Bob Wire's bedtime tale about the making of his new album, Off White Christmas.... more
Behind the Music: Off White Christmas
By BOB WIRE - Like Mozart's Requiem and Beethoven's Fifth Symphony, the inspiration for Bob Wire's Off White Christmas album was a big, greasy, delicious hamburger.... more
Every Day Is Laundry Day
By BOB WIRE - There’s a line in one of my songs, “Finding Barbie’s Shoes,” that says, “every day is laundry day.” If you have any kids at all, you know what I mean. ... more
Bob Wire’s Christmas Gift Ideas for Discerning Musicians
By BOB WIRE - Most musicians are pretty easy to buy for. One generous gesture would be to pay off his or her hefty bar tab. Trust me—they’ve got one. Somewhere.... more
Dial “M” for Mandolin
By BOB WIRE - I bought a mandolin. Don’t worry, the bluegrass world is safe. ... more
Music Lessons For Your Kids and Other Ways to Waste Money
By BOB WIRE - I never learned to read music. Hell, sometimes it’s all I can do to read English. So I learned to play by ear. I’m equipped with a strong sense of rhythm, so the guitar was a natural choice.... more
Gourds in Space – Or Punkin Chunkin Missoula Style
By BOB WIRE - They call it Punkin Chunkin’, and it’s one of the things that make people wonder why the hell anyone would move to Montana.... more
How Clean Is Clean?
By BOB WIRE - How clean is clean? It depends on whom you’re cleaning for, and who’s doing the cleaning. I’ve learned (usually the hard way) that “clean” means something different to men than it does t... more
You Can’t Say That On the Radio!
By BOB WIRE - I’ve got a great face for radio, or so I’ve been told.... more
Refs: They’re Just Like Us!
By BOB WIRE - You know why we love watching sports on TV? Same reason we love watching local newscasts—because we love watching people screw up.... more
Without Apple, Our Lives Would Be Beige. Thank You, Steve Jobs.
By BOB WIRE. The news of Steve Jobs’ passing at age 56 came as a grim shock to our family, all of whom are Mac enthusiasts. We’ve always had nothing but Macs, (and iPods and iPads) in our household until la... more
Bob for President
By BOB WIRE. Our country is in trouble. 89% of the population feel that the current government is lower than a fresh snake turd, yet most Americans are more interested in the underwear Kim Kardashian wore to h... more
Getting Schooled at the Open House
By BOB WIRE. Well, it’s that time of year again—dodging bodies in the school hallway, navigating a strange new campus, trying to decipher a confusing schedule sheet, and hustling to beat the bell in time to... more
Sleeping with the Enemy: Can a Marriage Survive Rooting for Division Rivals?
By BOB WIRE. The chatter of the exuberant bar full of NFL fans dropped to a murmur as we made our way through the Desperado last October -- she in her Tom Brady #12 jersey and blue New England Patriots hat, me ... more