Archive for the ‘Bob Wire has a Point’ Category
Our Marriage Survived a Partial Bathroom Remodel
By BOB WIRE - There are three words that, when spoken together, have the power to blow a marriage apart like a hamster in a microwave: HOME IMPROVEMENT PROJECT.... more
Strong Men Also Cry
By BOB WIRE - Are you surprised at my tears, sir? You know what, sometimes your ol’ buddy Bob just has to have himself a good cry. That’s right: strong men also cry.... more
Happy Birthday Jack Kerouac
By BOB WIRE - My best friend and I are just back from a landmark road trip to see the original manuscript for Kerouac’s iconic book, “On the Road"--the King of the Beats’ massive outpouring of creative br... more
Bob Wire’s Guide to Used Car Shopping
By BOB WIRE - When it comes to buying a car, I’m in the driver’s seat. Not to say that my wife doesn't know her way around the automotive ken, but I have cars in my DNA.... more
Missoula’s Urban Deer
By BOB WIRE - We live on a hillside overlooking the Missoula valley, and we see more deer than we do dogs, cats, pigeons, squirrels, or any other neighborhood-style critter.... more
Bob Wire’s Surprising Oscar Picks
By BOB WIRE - There’s a lot to talk about with the 85th Academy Awards. Let’s get down to the nominated movies. Here are my impressions of each movie, and why it doesn’t deserve to win Best Picture.... more
My Reaction to Gov. Steve Bullock’s State of the State Address
By BOB WIRE - First of all, thank you for wearing a tie, Gov. Bullock. Very Refreshing. Looks like you might actually be here to run the show, not just moseying into town for mule liniment & canning supplies.... more
My Sanity: Just Out of Reach
By BOB WIRE - After spinal fusion surgery Bob Wire describes himself thus: "I am a pathetic worm. A writhing, whining, grunting, squirming carcass of need."... more
Worst Part of Surgery Recovery? Daytime TV.
By BOB WIRE - I’m bed-bound for two weeks, flat on my back after spinal fusion surgery. The physical pain is nothing compared to the mental agony of watching daytime TV.... more
Snowboarding in the Middle Ages
By BOB WIRE - One day last winter, the Wire clan piled into the 4Runner and hit the road for Discovery. Next time, we'll wear helmets to protect against dain bramage.... more
Bring Out Your Dead (Tree, That Is)
By BOB WIRE - After we’ve undecked the halls, I strap our Christmas tree to the car for one of my favorite holiday events: The existential post-Christmas moment.... more
Wallpaper: 1, Bob Wire: 0
By BOB WIRE - We removed the mortuary-chic 1970s wallpaper in our hallway this weekend. Fortunately, the hardware store is next to the liquor store.... more
Shoppeth ‘Til Thou Droppeth
By BOB WIRE - I want to help set the record straight about Christmas consumerism. Take heed, brothers and sisters, for the Big Day is coming.... more
Bob Wire’s Off-White Christmas Videos
By BOB WIRE - With the help of a few Missoula businesses, we’ve created some Christmas music videos from our award-winning CD, “Off White Christmas.”... more
OMG! It’s a Bob Wire Christmas!
By BOB WIRE - Ten shopping days ‘til Christmas. I suppose it’s time to get moving on things. That'll mean at least one trip to the Death Star of shopping, the Mall.... more
Some Like it Hot. I Used To.
By BOB WIRE - As I shuffle clumsily into middle age, acid reflux is taking its revenge on my stomach lining. Nothing sets off the alarms down below like a helping of hot chile peppers.... more
Bob Wire, A Jewelry Salesman’s Worst Nightmare
By BOB WIRE - When it comes to jewelry, I’m not exactly in the same class as Mr. T. I do appreciate the occasional statement piece, as long as it's tasteful and refined.... more
Writers Got to Know Words Good
By BOB WIRE - I’m an aficionado of language, and the hilarious and maddening ways it's misused. Here's a hit list of offending words and phrases, and the proper usage.... more
Smells Like Teen Furnace
By BOB WIRE - The transition to winter seems to happen in about a week and Missoula takes on that classic autumn look. So bundle up, my pretties. Bundle up and go vote.... more
For Bob Wire, Every Day Is Halloween
By BOB WIRE - I'm not a big costume guy. When you wear a costume every day, Halloween loses its novelty. This was a problem last year when I played at a Halloween party.... more
Baby Showers Aren’t Just For Women. Or Babies.
By BOB WIRE - Baby showers have morphed into a coed affair. I witnessed such an event recently, at the home of a friend who had hosted OUR baby shower 16 years ago.... more
Dye Your Hair the Lady Gaga Way… With Kool-Aid
By BOB WIRE - You raise ‘em up, teach 'em right from wrong, and then comes the day when it all crashes down with one blunt question. “Hey, Dad, can I dye my hair red?"... more
The Kettlehouse Makes Bob Wire Feel Hoppy Inside
By BOB WIRE - The Kettlehouse in Missoula hosted its annual Hop Picking Party this week. It was kind of like a Halloween candy-swapping session, only for grown-ups.... more
Photo Gallery: Flying High with Bob Wire
By BOB WIRE - The Missoula Airport's new tower is an imposing addition to Montana’s third-busiest airport. Once the wildfire smoke clears, the views will be supreme.... more
Bob Wire Shows You How to Shape Your Cowboy Hat
By BOB WIRE - Shaping a straw cowboy hat is an art. It reflects the attitude and personality of its wearer. For just four easy payments of $19.95, I'll show you how!... more
All This and Bob Wire Cooks, Too?
By BOB WIRE - Barb’s working late. Kids are starving. They want nuggets and tots. No frickin’ way, I can do better. But I wasn't always the epicurean I am today.... more
Bob Wire Maintains the Separation of Church and State (Campground)
By BOB WIRE - When sharing close quarters in a campground, concessions must be made. If you’re going to play music it needs to be two things: well-done and inoffensive.... more
Smoke Gets in Your… Well, Everywhere
By BOB WIRE - August in Missoula means forest fire smoke is everywhere. It’s insidious. You can’t escape it. It’s like bluegrass. I even wrote a song about it.... more
Every Dog Has Its Bone
By BOB WIRE - My dog, Houdini, is sauntering around the yard with a newfound swagger, due to his rockin' new collar from the Bret Michaels line of dog accessories.... more
Bob and Marianne’s High School Reunion
By BOB WIRE - I’m getting increasing pressure to attend my 35th high school reunion. I plan to show up in a ruffled tuxedo shirt, sporting Fu Manchu, driving a Pacer.... more
Bob Wire’s Top Tips to Beat the Heat
By BOB WIRE - I like it hot, but man, I could use a break. Here are some of my top tips to beat the heat, most of which include beer, cold cuts, and Gold Bond powder. ... more
A Fond Farewell to Beer League Softball
By BOB WIRE - I’ve never been the best player on the team, but I can guarantee that no one had more fun playing slow-pitch, D League Missoula softball than this guy.... more
In the Fast Lane on the Highway to Hell
By BOB WIRE - Now that I have a teenager in Driver’s Ed, I’m the one who has to start following all the rules of the road.... more
Magpies, The Used Car Salesmen of the Avian World
By BOB WIRE - Magpies are like that dude from high school who tried to be the class clown but had the subtlety of a sledge hammer and the charm of Dick Cheney.... more
Care and Feeding of Your Wedding Band
By BOB WIRE - It's wedding season. Here are some basic Dos and Don’ts for hiring a band from a guy who’s been there and has a stash of stolen wedding napkins as proof.... more
Summertime Is Time to Mess Around
By BOB WIRE - Summer camps. Play dates. Dropping off. Picking up. Enough. The revolution is on. It’s summertime, for cryin’ out loud! It’s the Season of the Kid.... more
Daddy’s Little Helper
By BOB WIRE - Man, I haven’t been right since I fell out of bed this morning. Fortunately, that's nothing a quick phone call to Dr. Nick can't solve.... more
I Shop at Walmart. Don’t Tell My Friends.
By BOB WIRE - Living in liberal Missoula, I’m aware that Wal-Mart represents all that’s bad about big box stores, and is evil incarnate. Of course, I shop there.... more
Indoor Plumbing Can Be Overcome. Just Ask Lewis and Clark.
By BOB WIRE - The lack of running water in Forest Service cabins is a pain, but you have to make that a part of the adventure. Or sing songs to distract from the smell.... more
School’s Out! Summer Camps Are In!
By BOB WIRE - If your kids aren't signed up for camp yet, it's ok! Last-minute options include My First Tattoo Camp, Berkeley Pit Sleepaway Camp, and Chinese Labor Camp.... more
Zombie Apocalypse? Bob Wire’s Got Your Back
By BOB WIRE - Is anyone else burned out on the zombie thing? From face-eating loonies to local zombie weapon armories, the friggin’ zombie fascination just. Will. Not. Die.... more
For Writing Inspiration, Try the Bark Park
By BOB WIRE - Sometimes a writer needs inspiration. Sometimes he needs solitude. Sometimes he needs to commune with nature. For me, all this can be found at the dog park.... more
Hi, My Name Is Bob, and I’m a Magazine Addict
By BOB WIRE - Barb and I went through our budget and were shocked at how many magazines we get. The first step of getting help is admitting you have a problem, right?... more
Parenting Sucks. And I Love It.
By BOB WIRE - Parenting is rewarding. It’s also a constant string of surprises and dilemmas. If we knew what was in store for us, the species would've died out ages ago.... more
Take This Hair and Cut It
By BOB WIRE - Men love getting hair cuts. We get to sit in one of the coolest chairs ever invented while an attractive young woman runs her fingers through our hair.... more
Spring Yard Work: More Fun with a Beer in One Hand
By BOB WIRE - Last week, I passed on grass. This week, I passed out on the grass. But not for the reason you might expect.... more
Bob Wire Will Pass on Grass
By BOB WIRE - April 20 has a significance to enthusiasts of a certain pungent, smokeable herb, but in spite of the culinary creativity it inspires, I say nope to dope. ... more
A Tax Day Smackdown, Courtesy of Bob Wire & Double Haul
By BOB WIRE - If you, like me, are self-employed, then you know what a pain in the arse taxes can be. It takes a lot of blood, sweat, and Double Haul to get 'em right.... more
Bob Wire, the KISS Mini Golf Course, and Las Vegas Rock City
By BOB WIRE - KISS by Monster Mini Golf opened up in Las Vegas on March 15. This is not your father’s mini-golf. Unless I'm your father.... more
Making a Living in Music. Or Not.
By BOB WIRE - Could I actually make a decent living in Missoula from just music? Technically, it could be done. Let’s explore the possibilities, shall we?... more