As human beings, we crave good company and a stable relationship with a significant other. Studies show that a healthy relationship correlates with lower production of the stress hormone, cortisol, encourages a healthy lifestyle, and fulfills our innate desire to feel needed. So, you can imagine the damage that an unhealthy relationship might cause. Life isn’t like it used to be when our grandparents got married when everything moved at a slower pace. Nowadays, life is becoming more and more stressful, contributing to many unstable relationships.
Thankfully, there are professionals who can help if you think your relationship is collapsing and when you and your partner are in over your heads. Read on to learn more about when it’s the right time to seek professional help.
There Are More Bad Times Than Good
All relationships have their ups and downs. Some fluctuations are normal and totally fine, but when the downs really start to outweigh the ups, that is a red flag. Keep a journal for at least two weeks and record all of your interactions with your partner and document how they made you feel. Ideally, there should be 5 positive interactions for every negative one. Remember that a negative interaction refers to any sort of incident that makes you feel sad or unappreciated. It doesn’t have to be a hostile interaction or an aggressive one.
If you don’t laugh that much when you are around each other, that is also not a good sign. Do not wait until things get worse. These signs are enough to indicate that your relationship is going downhill, and you need help fixing it.
Lack of Effective Communication
When you feel that both of you are speaking different languages, that is another indication that things are going in the wrong direction. However, people are different; we all have different communication styles, which might result in frustrating and exhausting arguments. This is when counselling for couples can help both of you understand each other better. Lack of effective communication is a deal-breaker. It is fundamental to the success of any kind of relationship, especially with the person you are spending your life with.
Occurrence of Betrayal
If you or your partner get emotionally or physically involved with someone else, or even if that thought has crossed your mind, then it may be time to reevaluate the relationship. While physical betrayal is relatively straightforward and doesn’t need much clarification, emotional betrayal is different in comparison. Texting someone on a daily basis and sharing important parts of your life with that person may be a form of emotional betrayal. Snooping around for news about your ex could be as well. Even small flirtations might turn into inappropriate emotional intimacy, so you need to remain aware of what these sorts of behaviors look like. Be honest and open with each other to be sure you both want the relationship to last.
Constant Bickering
Endless fights over trivial matters are definitely not a good sign. When every conversation turns into a fight, then your relationship is not on the right track. Of course, there will be arguments every now and then, but constant bickering over anything and everything indicates that a relationship has problems. This sort of pattern could mark the beginning of the end if you don’t take steps to intervene and begin to resolve conflicts in a more healthy way.
Brushing Things Under the Rug
When you find yourselves pretending that everything is ok, and ignoring important issues, then you are heading into dangerous territory. If the underlying issues go unacknowledged for too long, by the time they do rise to the surface, it may be too late. Ignoring and denying problems can lead to a growing distance between you and your partner. If you haven’t been able to break through on your own, a relationship counselor may be able to teach you how to face your problems and manage them while feeling safe.
Human connection is crucial to our wellbeing, but not just any relationship will do. Working to build healthy relationships is essential. As human beings, we need to connect with others who we can share our life with while feeling safe and happy. A healthy relationship is one where both partners listen to each other, support each other in good and bad times, trust each other, and enjoy each other’s company. If your relationship is on the rocks, it doesn’t have to spell the end. It’s important to be open with your partner and make sure that you’re on the same page.
If you want to improve your relationship but feel stuck, then seeking the help of a counseling professional may be worthwhile. They have knowledge and methods that can help both of you better understand the other’s motives and behaviors. Don’t let yourself feel stuck. Speak up and take action.