By AIMEE RYAN
“What do you want to do when you grow up?” I remember my parents asking me this when I was a little girl. I remember teachers, friends, family, acquaintances, strangers, and pets (okay, maybe not my pets, but they were thinking it!) asking me this all through childhood, adolescence, and now, as an adult, it seems the question is still looming.
I also remember asking myself this very question. “What do I want to do when I grow up?” “Who do I want to be when I grow up?” I remember thinking how great it was going to be when I figured out the answers to those questions. I remember thinking that the answer was “out there” waiting for me, and as soon as I rounded the corner of “grown up,” there it would be, waiting for me.
Wow, was I wrong. Not only is the answer NOT out there, but I don’t have to be a second older (or younger!) to figure it out. The answer to this seemingly daunting question is in fact dwelling in my cells and my thoughts…my very being. Now the trick is connecting to that source and listening to what’s alive in me.
This is a bit of shift for me, and I would argue that the same is true for most of you. We are told from a young age that if we stay in school, get good grades, attend college, study hard, put our time in, try a few things, and yeah, even listen to our hearts a little along the way, then we’ll be able to “figure it out.” We’ll be able to find our calling and pick a career, and live happily ever after.
Well, what about if you found your calling, enjoyed your career, and are now looking on to “what’s next,” or asking yourself, once again, “what do I want to do when I grow up?” Or what if you’ve dedicated all of your time to raising your children, and now they’re raised, and there is no one to take care of except yourself? Or, what if you’ve figured all of that out, except you’re just looking for a change, something to switch it up…some way to reignite that inspirational spark?
First, let me welcome you to the club…I call it the “We’re all going through transitions in someway or another club” (I’m still working on the title, but it get’s the point across). Second, I want to reassure you that with a little self-connection, a little TLC for Y-O-U, you can find that spark and live the life you want.
Personally, I’m finding that while I did all of the above, I’m just as wide-eyed and mystified as I was when I was a little girl. The difference is, however, I couldn’t be more excited about it. Why? Because, unlike when I was a little girl, I have the tools and the language to work through these “what do I want to be when I grow up” questions and to meet them with courage, grace, and simple joy. The tools and the language that I’m talking about, while often labeled with names (Nonviolent Communication or Compassionate Communication), is really just a way of engaging with and connecting to my feelings and needs, and then making clear, doable requests of myself and others (yup…it’s that simple).
Let me explain with a little example. After months of deliberation, I recently decided to leave my job. The decision didn’t come easy at first, and I through the process of self connection, I figured out that I was afraid. I was scared of losing the security that the job provides, scared that I wouldn’t be able to find something else, and scared to fail. But, even more than that, I was scared of staying someplace that didn’t fill me up.
Once I got there, the decision was easy, and I knew I had to go. I knew that for right now, at this time in my life, my needs for integrity, meaning, purpose, passion, inspiration, spontaneity, and freedom were more important than my needs for security and sustainability. I realize that this may not always be the case, but that’s what is true for me now, and I know that if I stay connected to that, then I’ll always be able to make the decisions that are “right” for me.
Since making this decision, I feel like a new person; I feel energized, excited, inspired, and authentically present with my life. And I know that I’m feeling so good because I’m connected to my values, and I’m saying “yes!” to what’s important to me right here, right now.
If you’re contemplating, getting ready for, or smack in the middle of a life transition (I think that pretty much covers the entire human race) I want to invite you into this process. Together with my dear friend and colleague Patrick Marsolek, I will introduce you to the tools for self-empathy and teach you how to identify what’s most important to you, so that you can embrace your life’s transitions and rediscover the spark within.
Join us on Thursday, September 25th for a hands-on, experiential workshop that will use the skills and practice of Nonviolent Communication (NVC), a powerful methodology for self-connection and awareness, to empower you to:
- Embrace life’s transitions with courage and grace
- Reconnect with your life’s purpose
- Identify what values are important to you, in this stage of your life
- Create time for self-connection, regardless of the busyness of your life
Thursday
September 25
5:30 – 7:30 p.m.
UM Campus, Payne Family Native American Center
Cost: $45
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Aimee Ryan
Aimee is a Nonviolent Communication Trainer Candidate with the Center for Nonviolent Communication. In addition to being a certified yoga teacher and Pilates instructor, Aimee is also the Executive Director of the Montana World Affairs Council, a nonpartisan, nonprofit organization dedicated to bringing global awareness opportunities to Montana communities and schools.
Patrick Marsolek
Patrick works with businesses, individuals and families on how to communicate effectively and compassionately. He is a Clinical Hypnotherapist with private practices in Missoula and Helena. He is the author of “A Joyful Intuition” and “Transform Yourself: A Self-Hypnosis Manual.” Incorporating altered states of consciousness for personal transformation, Patrick teaches experiential classes on hypnosis, intuition, and compassionate communication Find out more at: http://www.InnerWorkingsResources.com